Textual Healing

Putting the Pro in Procrastination

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:06:19 GMT

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments... what is it?
1. Produce: Red pepper
2. Bakery: French bread.
3. Meat: Ground beef.
4. Frozen: A Knorr entre
5. Dry goods: PC white mac and cheese

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you... besides your undergarments. So, what's in your bag?
1. My jeans with the star studs on the pockets
2. My Grey Suzy Shier Cami
3. My long sleeve, black, v neck sweater

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. Joe
2. “Hello Trouble!”
3. “Oww! Stupid Cat!”
4. Shit!
5. “I can’t. I have to study.”

So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?
1. Drinking Tea
2. Talking to Joe
3. Peeing.

Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. Listening to music and singing loudly
2. Dancing around the house
3. Playing with makeup
4. Reading in bed
5. Taking a nap

We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. Reptile House
2. Koalas/Austraila exhibit
3. Big Cat exhibit

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on t.v. of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?
1. Glee
2. House
3. The Tonight Show
4. Just for Laughs

You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
1. Mint Chocolate chip
2. Chocolate chip cookie dough
3. Pralines and Cream

Somebody stole your purse/wallet in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. My Bright Green Wallet
2. My house keys with my pet perks and A.E. Card on it
3. My Ipod
4. My LG phone
5. Speed dial MAC lipstick
(This is in the hypothetical world in which I carry a purse.)

You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?
1. Singer/Songwriter
2. Makeup Artist
3. Author
4. Book Critic

A Muddle of thoughts...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 04:03:54 GMT

Last night Joe and I went out and met up with a friend of his who was in from Montreal. During our visit she created some drama and got angry at Joe when the two of us were unable to accompany her to a persons house for a fire. We were under-dressed and exhausted. She called Joe some pretty mean names and hung up on him.

Needless to say, this left Joe angry, hurt and annoyed.

"She always does this!" he exclaimed to me, as she hung up.

"Always?" I asked. Story after story ensued of his continual run ins with Michelle and her temper, clinginess and erractic behaviour. Another mutal friend of Michelle and Joe, Jodi, recounted similar behaviour.

"Then why do you hang out with her?" I asked.

"Because she's our friend." That was all they said. All they needed to say.

Lately, I have been a little bit unlovable. Life has a way of overwhelming me, especially since my dual diagnosis of hypothyroid and depression. I have withdrawn a bit from people, and developed a habit of doing thingd that need to be done at the last minute. However, I have never lied, backtalked, called friends names, or anything like that. I don't feel my behaviour has been deserving of the treatment I've been getting from some of the people in my life who mean the most to me. Some of this treatment is making me rethink my commitments to some of the most important things in my life.

Right now I'm rethinking my most important friendships. To me, good friends, true friends, are the people who are running in when everyone else is walking out. They are the people who love you when you are unlovable and you do the same for them. The treatment I've been getting lately, since about October or so, is letting me know how people feel about me.

I sm a procrastinator, and I am sometimes antisocial. I can be loud. I can be opinionated, and some times, I can be a little slow on the uptake. I acknowledge I am far from perfect. However, if Michelle can be the way she is, and still have people who love her, protect her and care about her, I wonder if it's time I started desiring - or demanding - the same.

A Health Update, or the entry where Steph actually has stuff to say

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:46:19 GMT

It's been confirmed. I have Hypothyroidism.

For everyone who doesn't know, hypothyroidism is a condition caused by an under active thyroid gland. Your thyroid regulates a bunch of important things, like how your body uses fats and carbs, your heart rate, body temperature, and even, in a sort of tertiary way, how much calcium is in your blood. Having hypothyroidism leads to all kinds of unfortunate symptoms like fatigue, depression and weight gain

The rate at which the hormones that control these things are released are controlled by both your hypothalamus and your pituitary gland. Your hypothalamus signals the pituitary gland to start making something called Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH). Based on how much of the two thyroid hormones (T3 and T4) are in your blood the pituitary releases a given am mount of TSH.

Now some of you may remember that I was worried about my thyroid last year. At that time I had not received a definite diagnosis. The reason it has taken a while to be diagnosed is that my TSH levels are what is called borderline, and my T4 levels have always been fine. It took a doctor who was willing to look at ALL my blood work to see that there has been a steady increase in my TSH levels since April of last year, and that I am starting to show one of the antibodies that signals the onset of Hashimoto thyroiditis, an auto immune disorder where the body attacks the thyroid. My thyroid is slowly shutting down.

I know this probably wont be a big deal after a while. It's simply a case of taking one pill once a day. However, according to my doctor this is a process that will take a while to refine because it's a matter of adjusting the replacement hormone in increments so that my thyroid responds with out sending me into night sweats, palpations, nausea and insomnia (symptoms of the opposite disorder; hyperthyroidism). So now I embark on a four month journey of doctors visits and monthly blood draws. Joy.

Although, it may just give me something to write about here...

I really need reasons to post things other then surveys....

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:49:03 GMT

Do you think it's a sign of weakness to cry?
Of course not! Biologically, it is theoretically thought to encourage empathy in people around you. If they think you're weak, they're probably just heartless bastards :P

If you could stop time at any moment in your life, what would you be doing when you stopped it?
Things I don't have time for during the day. Letter writing comes instantly to mind

Do your parents still treat you as though you are a child?
Occasionally, but I don't blame them. I will always be their first-born child in some ways, whether I'm 21 or 102 .

Have you had a falling out with any of your friends lately?
Nah.

What character in any movie do you feel like and why?
Hrm. Tough one. I'll get back to you

Would you tell someone the harsh truth, even though you know it would make them angry?
Only if it was really necessary. If I knew a guy a friend was seeing was dangerous, for example

Would you ever consider changing your sex?
Maybe for a day. It would be neat to try to pass. But not permanently.

If you could change a part of your life but it would effect your present, would you?
I know the typical answer to this is “No, it's made me what I am...” but I have to be honest. I would.

What do you think of the "emo" style?
Not my thing...but if you like it, go for it.

If you had a time machine, what would be the first year you visited?
1964

What's your most important possession?
I'd be lying if I said I didn't love some of my stuff, but nothing is more important than my friends.

Do you have to like someone to love them?
With family no. My Mom would often say, I hate your actions but I love you. But you do end up liking them eventually, I think.

What do you consider love to be like?
It's woefully short term.

When do you want to die?
After I see the world, before I lose my mind.

Would you want to live forever?
Nope. Immortality would be lonely and boring.

What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?
...Hm...there are a couple contenders...

Do you know anyone who cuts?
If I did, would I tell the world I about it?

What's on your mind most today?
Money. Isn't that always the case?

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
99% of the time, yes.

Have you ever called a person useless?
Only in jest.

Do you usually tell people when they hurt your feelings?
Usually I don't have to say it out loud.

Something you just don’t understand?
Human Cruelty

If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
I'm probably extremely shocked, or seriously upset.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
I don't know. It's nice to believe that things that happen aren't just random.

Are you there for your friends?
Always.

Are you a forgiving person?
Usually yes. Depends on the offense though...

Are you a jealous person?
Not even a little bit

How many TRUE friends do you have?
I am blessed to have a handful of amazing friends who I can trust with anything.

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:18:12 GMT

Because I have nothing better to do....

Life Experiences Survey!
[ by whycantibreathee ]

Which of these have you experienced? Bold the ones you have.

Watched a sunset
Watched a sunrise
Stayed up all night
Had a slumber party
Been on stage
Sang in a chorus or choir
Sang alone
Pet a cow
Sat on a roof
Played beach volleyball
Spent over $500 in one day.
Spent over $1,000 in one day
Crashed a car
Walked into a wall
Tripped on yourself
Laughed so hard you peed
Cried yourself to sleep
Cried happy tears
Sang your country's national anthem solo
Watched a movie in the front row
Hooked up with someone in the movie theatre
Drank hard liquor
Had someone draw on you while you were sleeping
Jumped for joy!
Hated your appearance
Felt beautiful
Been dumped
Been the dumper
Gone 'all four bases'
Ate a whole box of Oreos
Gotten a shirt customized
Slept outside
Had a closet filled with stuff
Painted a room
Fallen in love
Forgiven and forgotten
Bought something off the TV
Walked everywhere
Fallen off a bike
Swam 10 laps without taking a break
Won a medal or trophy for a sport
Got on honor roll
Missed someone
Had a crush on a teacher
Failed a class
Hooked up with someone of the opposite sex
Hooked up with someone of the same sex
Been around the world
Went rock climbing
Been hiking
Gone water-skiing
Skydived
Felt alive
Been in a limo
Knit something
Cried on someone's shoulder
Let someone cry on your shoulder
Stalked someone
...on Facebook
Had over 1000 friends on Facebook or Myspace
Held a baby
Pinched someone's cheeks
Gotten a massage
Felt completely relaxed
Got all sweaty from playing a sport
Eaten rotten food
Eaten at a 5-star restaurant
Visited all the major cities in America
Dated someone you never thought you'd be interested in
Been on a boat
Went on an overnight school trip
Been on a really big roller coaster
Thought you were gonna die

Survey,...Cause I'm bored.

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 06:00:22 GMT

Is there always going to be that one person who will always have your heart?
Nope, although I will never forget the people who are part of my heart

Do you admit when you're wrong?
I try to. Sometimes I can be a little proud

What are you listening to right now?
An episode of Bones

Are you currently frustrated with anything?
Yes. I usually I am with one thing or another.

When was the last time your parent's yelled at you?
Um...two days ago perhaps?

What color is your hair?
Auburn

You're rude, aren't you?
No. I'm sorry if I came off that way.

Do you wish you could take things back?
Sometimes and some things

How many kids do you want?
None, thanks.

Who did you last hangout with?
Um George and Jason

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
I hope not.

What is something you currently want right now?
Chinese take out!

Do you have plans for tomorrow?
Work, but maybe something else will pop up

Do you use swear words in front of your parents?
Sometimes, but not too too often

Does anyone hate you?
I certainly hope not...

Did you mean it when you last said "I love you"?
I always do.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Yes, of course.

Have you ever seen your best friend(s) cry?
Yes. I think that's part of being a best friend

Have they seen you cry?
See above.

Did you speak to your father today?
Nope. I'm calling him tomorrow though

Last people you went out to eat with?
Um. George and Jason. We split a extra large pizza.

Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh?
Yeah. I tend to be on the giddy side.

Have you ever burned yourself?
Who hasn't?

Are promises important to you?
Of course.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Not really.

What were you doing at 7 AM?
Sleeping

Does love exist?
Yes. Is that actually a question?

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Um. The people at the gender bendering party I assume

What was the last drink you had?
Water.

Would you rather spend a day outside with friends, or inside alone?
With friends, of course.

How many siblings do you have?
One.

Is there someone you can tell everything to?
Yes.

At this very moment, what exactly are you doing?
This, listening/watching bones. Have I mentioned that I am in love Hodgins?

Where's your ex at?
Don't know, don't care, don't ask me

What's you're favorite thing to do on the weekend?
Hang out with friends

Who or what consumes most of you're time?
Work and house work

Have you ever been cheated on?
Nope

How do you feel about you're siblings?
I am proud of her, and I love here

Lil Wayne or Plies?
Who?

Are you excited for the weekend?
Don't have any reason to be yet.

When did you last eat chinese food?
A long long time ago. I'm craving it now though.

Do you like peanut butter?
Yes

Did you enjoy the movie Twilight?
Didn't even bother to see it. Ugh. Fucking Twilight

Are most of you're friends older or younger than you?
About an even split really

Age range:
19-32

Is there anyone you wouldn't mind punching right now?
I don't believe in hitting people.

Anyone you were good friends with, that you no longer get along with?
Yes. I hate it when that happens.

Your first ex calls and tells you he hates you, you say?
Get a life?

Has anyone let you down lately?
Yes

Do you ever listen to country music?
Yes'm

Who owns the last two cars you rode in?
My dad and my mom

Miss anyone you shouldn't?
Of course

Why are you at home?
Because it's 1:44 in the morning?

Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
Yes, there is

This time last year, were you single?
Nope.

How are you feeling right now?
Tired, a little worried. Annoyed

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
I hope so. In a good way I mean

Are you a big fan of thunderstorms?
No. I don't like them

Do you believe in perfection?
Nope.

Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Yes. Most of my friends

What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
It varies

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life?
No, but I'm trying to make it better.

Have you ever liked someone way older than you?
Yes. A solid 10 years.

Where did you get your last bruise from?
I don't actually know.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Yes

Do you love the last person you called?
Mom, so yes!

How late did you stay up last night and why?
Um. I'm going to go with 2-ish in the morning

Are you looking forward to anything?
Nah

Where do you want to live when you're older?
In a fantasy world? Ireland

Do you mind sleeping on the floor?
I can't actually do it.

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy?
Yes.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
My Dad.

What is something you currently want?
Money.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
Yes.

Are you talking to someone while doing this?
Monica. Over MSN.

Name something you are doing tonight?
Sleeping?

If you could seek revenge on someone, would you?
No. Revenge always takes more out of you then it does the person you are trying to be revenged upon

Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes.

When is the last time you talked to your grandma?
When she was still alive.

Did you have a good day yesterday?
Sure :)

When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
Tonight

Last time you made a bet with someone?
Haha. George at the Tap house. I still say that was a woman!

Will this weekend be a good one?
Here's hoping

Have you ever liked someone who was not good to you?
Yes

Do you like someone?
Yes.

When was the last time you threw something at someone?
Um....I can't remember

When was the last time you were on the phone after 1 AM?
Years ago?

Are you a bad influence?
Nope. I'm pretty much THE good influence :P

Has anyone ever called you baby?
Yes

What is something you disliked about your day?
Work

Do you like to take walks?
Some times. Depends on the length of the walk.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
Yes, I can.

Have you ever dated the same person twice?
Yep.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
Not without hard work.

What’s the first thing you notice on the preferred sex?
Confidence.

Have you cried today at all?
Yes. Damn PMS

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
Maybe some things. I don't know yet.

Sometimes A song says it best...

Wed, 13 May 2009 04:37:18 GMT

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silent, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

WARNING: Depressing post

Sun, 10 May 2009 08:44:16 GMT

When I wrote that last post, I thought it was over.

Then he called me back home. I went.   We spent three wonderful days together. We spent a lot of that time in bed. He promised me he loved me. That he would try his hardest to come home. I believed him...

Tonight, he told me that he no longer loved me, that he didnt miss me.

He said he wished he'd had the guts to say this in person, but that he was never coming home.

He used me for...whatever...for those three days and then just left, saying I love you but knowing in his heart of hearts he wouldn't come back, and that he didn't love me at all.

I feel so stupid. I feel so broken.

How can someone take your love, and use you like that? I thought I knew him. I didn't know him at all.

I'd say there is a special corner of hell reserved for men who trick women into sexual acts with false word of love and longing, except that this whole thing has left me so stripped of any belief in any merciful God that there can not be any divine realm at all for anyone.

I wish i believed in Karma. In divine retribution. But I don't. There is no one and nothing that will make him hurt like I am hurting.

I want to disappear forever. I feel like my soul has be ripped out and stomped on. I feel like nothing is worth doing or saying.

The sun will rise tomorrow, and I will still be trapped in our apartment with all his left over stuff. Stuff that smells like him, and reminds me of him and belonged to him.

How do I handle this? How do I stop the pain when I wake up in the bed we shared, under his sheets, with his pillow at my side.

And the worst part? I still miss him. I still ache to hold him, and hear him laugh. I miss his guitar playing and his singing, and I miss him tucking me in at night.

I want to believe that this too shall pass. Right now though, it feels so dark that dawn can not possibly come.

I'm sorry if I'm over sharing. I just needed some place to vent, and doing it in the online world makes me believe that there is someone out there listening, which I desperately, desperately need.

You probably saw it coming but...

Sun, 03 May 2009 06:17:27 GMT

It's over.

And all I can think about is how much I'm going to miss sleeping with someone, and how lonely the apartment is going to be.

I feel like a cliche, but I can't sleep, and I don't eat,

I wanted this so much...

And he just...didn't.

I wish I could figure out how NOT to internalize this.

I'll stop now.

And the hits just keep on coming...

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 15:19:38 GMT

In other news, my hamster died yesterday morning...

Oh, and If you ask your boyfriend of a year and a half if he'll stay by your side if you find out you have cancer (and this is not just a merely hypothetical question) and he says "I'll try", what do you do?

It's not a meme but I sort of wish it was....

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:35:43 GMT

A lot has happened with my health in the last little while, and I figure I should update with a full explanation.

Some of you may know that I was recently sick with non-acute mono. That is really only about a quarter of the saga of my on going health problems.

Starting in September I began a downward slide of not being able to keep up with my homework or classes. All my assignments were (and are) being handed in late. I was sleeping through alarms (which never happens), and when I did get up and go places I was so incredibly tired that walking from UCC to North Campus building seemed like an unconquerable task. Regardless of these feelings I avoided doctors because, well, I just plain don't like them. However, by the time February rolled around I was maybe attending 3 hrs of class a week out of my 15 hr schedule, so I dutifully made an appointment at Student Health to get myself checked out.

The Dr. there examined me, ordered some blood work and palpated my thyroid gland. He felt what he thought might be a little lump there, but he wasn't sure. He informed me that it is pretty standard for a doctor, when he/she thinks they feel something - anything at all - on the thyroid, to order an ultra sound. He did so, setting it up for two weeks down the road. He also asked questions about my diet, exercise and sleep habits. He said that there was probably nothing wrong with me, that I was experiencing 3rd year burnout, and that i should exercise and take a multi-vitamin, then check back with him when the course of vitamins was complete. He was very reassuring, and so I thought nothing of it. I left my appointment and walked straight to the campus pharmacy to buy womens one a day.

As soon as I started taking the multi-vitamin things were fine again. I was still far far behind scolastically, but I was coping better, and was making some headway on projects and stuff. I began sleeping regularly and enjoying my walks across campus again. Meanwhile, the blood work came back from the Lab at Western. They told me I had a nasty - but non-serious - conjunction of non-acute mono and a b12 deficeny. This, they said, was why the vitamins were working so well, and I should just continue on them.
I was comming down with the worst cold of my life, (which turned out just to be a plain cold), but regradless of that, I was happy with the diagnoisis. I went to my ultrasound extremely untroubled. I hadn't even thought any more about it until yesterday.

Yesterday I had a standard follow up appointment with my Dr. to discuss the results of the ultrasound. I was told by the nurse that it was non-urgent, and so assumed they hadn't really found anything. Imagine my surprise when my doctor told me there were not one, but two nodes of extra tissue growing on my thyroid. He then proceed to tell me I shouldn't worry or lose any sleep, but that he was going to set up a nuclear imaging test for me at Victoria hospital. I was told to call the hospital because the test can be thrown off by a number of factors and they need to make sure I'm doing everything correctly.

I called them as ordered only to find out that I have to go back off of my vitamins, because the idoine they contain will muddle my test results. My test is now scheduled for April 23rd so that my body has a chance to get rid of the idoine. So, now everything is back to where it was in February. Today is my first day off the vitamins, and I awoke at 10:30, dragged myself to campus at 1:30 and barely made it to class in time because the trek seemed utterly herculean. I am in the process of untangling all the red tape that needs to be untangled in order for me to be able to get a doctors note. If I contiue this way, exams will be a hopeless shambles and I want to be able to have medical backup if I end up too incoherent to take a test properly.

Not trusting my doctor's casual demenor any more, I did some reasearch myself. This test, in which I have to drink Barium, will determine if the nodes on my thyroid are hot (have increased activity) or are cold (decreased activity). If it turns out that either one (or both) of these nodes are cold, a needle biopsy will be performed to determine if I have cancer.

Now, I understand why my doctor told me not to worry. Thyroid nodes are very common, and people can live their whole lives without every knowing they having one. Out of all the nodes people have, 95% of nodes are benign, with only 5% of nodes being cancerous. It has also been said that if you have cancer, you should hope it's on your thryoid because the cure rate for thyroid cancers is 90%. However, just because a thyroid node is not cancerous, it doesn't mean it won't affect my body. There are plenty of other things these nodes could be. At best they could be harmless, and vitamins will continue to fix them for the forseeable future. At worst, I will be on hormones, or other kinds of oral therapy for the rest of my life.

Needless to say, this all has me a little freaked out. I know it is most likely not cancer, but the idea of it, of that horrible, dreaded C word which so often has reared its ugly head in order to splinter my family has me unable to focus on pretty much anything else.

So I ask you, if you are a person of faith, pray for me. If you are not, do what ever it is you do when your friends and family members undergo a hard time. As for my part, all of this is kind of falling during a crisis in my faith, so I will be trying to sort out whether or not this kind of bad timing and psychological cruelty can be the work of a benevolent, loving God I so desperately want to believe in.

Urban Dictionary Meme (Stolen from Iris_atlantiel)

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:30:45 GMT

--Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
--Post the first definition it gives you.
1.) Your name?
Stephanie: The Sexiest Girl the world
Pamela Anderson is a Stephanie.
(Pamela Anderson? Really? Yeech. You could have at least gone with Meghan Fox or something..)

2.) Your age?
21: The age at which one is finally considered human (Woohoo! I'm A human being!)

3.) One of your friends?
Monica: Slang term for a woman who enjoys sucking a man's genitals. See Monica Lewinski
Girl: "I like sucking cocks!" Guy: "Is your name Monica?"
(Yeech. Sorry Moni!)

4.) What should you be doing?
Essays: plural of ese. purnounced:; essays
you see a home boy you say whats up ese. you see a lots of home boyz you say whats up essays
(Hrm. My guess is that a Spanish Person DID NOT write this!)

5.) Favorite color?
Blue: The hue of the portion of the visible spectrum lying between green and indigo, evoked in a human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 420 to 490 nanometers.
The sky is blue.
(This is probably the most exact definition I have ever seen on Urban Dictionary)

6.) Birthplace?
London, Ontario: London is a city of about 360 000. It is situated in the heart of south-western Ontario. The downtown area is currently undergoing a major re-juvination. City Hall has put a lot of money into the new John Labatt Centre, to host the London Knights OHL hockey games. They also invested in a new public library which was voted the best in Ontario. London is a great place to live, and raise children. Just don't go down Buley St, Cascade St, or anywhere near Ontario St if you're not prepared to protect yourself. London is the friggin best city in all of Ontario. Go Knights Go!!!
(Well, I do like the library down town….)

7.) Month of your birth?
October:the birthstone for this month is Opal, but there is also a cheaper Rose Zicron. And it's also the best month ever if your birthday is in it
My birth month is October.
(The second definition was better…but rules are rules I suppose)

8.) Last person you texted?
Aaron: The name that really means "My parents were too lazy to look past the first name in the book"... or, just a really cool guy in general. Best name ever.
Aaron: Hey, my parents were too lazy to actually look past the first name in the book"
(*snicker*)

9.) One of your nicknames?
Steph: Irish slang word, used mainly in Longford, to describe a girl as beautiful as she is elusive, that will have her victim distracted to the point of writing poetry for her. Can also be used as a verb.
Guy #1: Hey man, you gotta forget that Steph, she's got you well messed up. Guy #2: I wish I could but I'm totally Stephed.
(This I Like. Irish men can write me poetry ANY TIME! As long as they also read it in their sexy Irish accents!)

10. Something you like to do for fun:
Read: to translate written text into meaningful ideas within one's own mind. People usually read to gain knowledge or to awaken their imagination. Sadly, the act of reading seems to have been "bred out" of the human race. People these days would much rather desensitize themselves with stupid rap noise and violent, pornographic, and otherwise unintelligent forms of media. If you are in junior high and find it hard to read, do yourself a favor and get help. No offense! Reading is a great and powerful thing, and only by fully taking advantage of it can one open his or her mind to the possibilities of his or her own future.
Ranting is fun. Go read a book. No, your porno magazine doesn't count
(Is it sad that I sort of agree with the "bred out" part?)

11. Family members:
Kirk: To go crazy, to flip out, to wig out.
Timmy kirked out when he saw the guitar solo.

Lorna: SHE ROCKS!! hehe! She is beautiful and wonderful.
Lorna is the best ever!

Jennifer: a fun, outgoing person. generally smart but can be a total blonde at times. someone who likes meeting new people, and smiles a lot. a person who never would just turn on people. a very good friend. someone you can trust. when she's mad, stand clear she might blow her top. but a person who doesn't get mad easily so you dont have to worry about that.
she always smiles!she is such a jennifer.

Teddy: A very sexy, hot, cute, adorable, huggable, kissable, smart, kind and sweet being.
(For the record…Teddy is my Dog…:S)

Gemmy: gem-like; shiny; almost precious, but not quite
Oooo, how pretty and gemmy.

Bantam: Small or youngest compared to the norm
"The bantam team at my high school was only for 9th graders."
"That bantam son of a bitch can still pass off as a child on the metro!"
(Tee hee. It makes sense, because he is a dwarf hamster :) )

Flail: To dance with crazy arm motions which is entertaining for both the viewer and performer!
She loves to flail at the Loop on Saturdays!
(Again…fitting)

Fenris: A starkingdoms alliance, a pack of wolves
Fenris pwned TheChaotic and TRWfed.
(Just from the definiton on UD, you can tell who picked this name *eye roll*)

Book Meme

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 04:07:06 GMT

You can blame iris_alantiel for this one! Just kidding, although I did steal this one from her,

There are many ways of doing this meme, so I bolded the books I've read and added a ** to the ones I love. I also italicized the ones I want to read, but they don't count in the totals.

Sorry I couldn't cut this. I tried 5 different way and none of them worked so i settled for having the list out in the open.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien**
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling**
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee**
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman**
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Total so far: 6/10

11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger**
9 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger**
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
Total so far: 10/20

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams**
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Total so far: 14/30

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis**
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
Total so far: 17/40

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
Total so far: 22/50

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley**
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon**
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Total so far: 26/60

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tart
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Total so far: 28/70

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
Total so far: 28/80

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker**
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Total so far:32 /90

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams**
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Final Total: 37/100 or 37%. Not too bad. I’ll have to do an updated version of this when I finish all of Waterstone’s 100 best of the century.

In other news, did you notice the Beatles mood theme? I wish I could say I had created it but it's from demeterqueen , one of the Goddesses of Beatles Slash! you should check her out! (if you're into that sort of thing anyway...)

Because Sara told me to...

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:39:17 GMT

44 Odd Things About You! Meme

If you opened this, FILL IT OUT! Learn 44 things about your friends, and let them learn 44 things about you! Tag the person that sent it plus others.

Thieved from iris_alantiel 's LJ.

1. Do you like blue cheese?
Nope. I’ve never tried it, but the smell and the fact That it is technically mouldy puts me right off

2. Have you ever been drunk?
Tipsy yes. Have I ever been so drunk that I fell down/passed out/was hungover/forgot part of the night? No.

3. Do you own a gun?
No. Guns are silly.

4. What flavor of Kool-Aid was your favorite?
Um…Strawberry Kiwi, and any of the kinds that changed colour

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
I haven’t been to one in over two years. I honestly forget.

. . . somehow, there is no #6.

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
The Christmas Story. It’s a tradition around our house. “Scut Farkis! He had yellow eyes!”

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Tea

9. Can you do push ups?
Yes but not well and precious few

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My sapphire and Diamond necklace from my dad.

11. Favorite hobby?
Um…Cross stitching I guess, although I’m not too good at it yet. Also gaming

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
Not officially, but - hey, look, a blue thing! <- stealing Sara’s answer here. It's very tru- Hey...SHINY!

13. What's your favorite shoe?
Um. I hate shoes. They make me sad.

14. Middle name?
Paige. Why? Who knows! My confirmation name is Mary.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
Ice tea is yummy. I’m tired, Where did I leave off playing Harvest moon?

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Tea, Water, Juice

17. Current worry?
How am I going to make it forty days without “giving up”? And why does that make me sound so pathetic?

18. Current hate right now?
Exams, because they make Aaron grumpy

19. Favorite Vacation spot?
Um…The domican Republic. I miss the sun and the sand. I think if I ever win the lottery, I might move there. Only during the winters, of course. The summers are ridiculous.

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
At the Poacher’s Arms with Aaron, Meghan, her brother and Rick Mcghee

21. Where would you like to go?
England/Ireland/anywhere in western Europe

22. Name three people who will complete this?
If I had to guess . . .kopah , her_tenor (please?) and um, well no one else really reads here…

23. Do you own slippers?
yes. They are light blue with pompoms and her_tenor bought them for me
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now?
Baby blue and sliver

25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets?
I’ve never done it, but in my experience high thread count cotton is the best.

26. Can you whistle?
You betcha!

27. Favorite color?
Take a wild guess…

28. Would you be a pirate?
Only if I, too, was one of the pirates who don't do anything.
*Sings*
We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll tell you....we don't do anything..

(seriously, those are the lyrics...)

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever's on the radio

30. Favorite Girl's Name?
Honestly? I don’t have one. I don’t plan on having kids

31. Favorite boy's name?
See above

32. What's in your pocket right now?
Nothing

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
The song of the Cebu

34. Best bed sheets as a child?
Starwars! Obviously!

35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child?
Sprained my Knee at Chicopee, having been run over by my ski instructor. I was 11

36. Do you love where you live?

It’s décor leaves a little to be desired, but mostly yeah.

. . . no #37, either. I think I got ripped off.

38. Who is your loudest friend?
Tough one. I’m going to say Adam, provided he’s been drinking. *lol*

39. How many dogs do you have?
One, sort of. He lives with my Mom

40. Does someone have a crush on you?
I’m going to go with aaron on that one.

41. What is your favorite book?
Good Question. Anything by Robin Hobb is a safe bet

42. What is your favorite candy?
Swedish Berries

43. Favorite Sports Team?
Toronto Maple Leafs

44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Ave Maria Or something pretty and slow by Celtic woman.

Bleh...

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 23:17:47 GMT

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty down. I guess it must show, because I keep getting asked if I’m okay, or if I’m tired. The truth is, I’m not particularly okay, but I can’t put my finger on what the heck is wrong with me.

Whatever it is, I know that the feeling of being brushed off isn’t helping me, and that feeling has been happening a lot lately. As an example, a friend and I went to the mall the other day. I hustled through an assignment to meet her, caught two buses from home, only to have her show up 20 minutes late. That I can forgive her for; Saturday busses suck. But then she tells me she can’t stay because another friend had called her as she was leaving, and asked her out for a dinner and a movie, and she wanted to go, even though it wasn’t really a movie she wanted to see. So we ran around the mall to get what she needed, stopped quickly for me (while she pestered me to annoy the sales girl so we could leave faster) and caught the bus home.

Tonight, I’m supposed to be hosting a little pre-drink thing for another friend, and she calls me midway through the day (after I’ve been feverishly cleaning the house) to tell me that another friend of hers wants to host the pre-drink if she gets all her work done. Well, what am I supposed to say to that? I told her fine, just let me know.

Both these incidents have left me feeling pretty unimportant. Do these two girls not have time for me in their lives? Is the third party in both cases more fun than I am? I don’t know. I just know that it’s really not helping the way I feel.

Sorry for the gloomy entry, but hey, at least it’s not a meme, huh?

Edit: as I’m writing this the girl who’s party I’m hosting MSN’d to lemme know that the pre-drink is still on at my place, but she won’t be drinking tonight because she’s PMS-y. Some how, I’m just not as excited for tonight…

Edit II: Now Monica, Jackie, Leise and Khrystina have backed out. This is just getting worse and worse *sigh* I hope the boys show up.

Edit III: Okay, so a couple people showed, it wasn't too bad. It definitely cheered me up some.

Does it count as a tag if your name just appears in the Meme?

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 20:41:28 GMT

1. Where is your cell phone? Floor
2. Your significant other? Aaron
3. Your hair? Messy
4. Your mother? Complicated
5. Your father? Talented
6. Your favorite thing? Literature
7. Your dream last night? Nonexistent
8. Your favorite drink? Alcholic
9. Your dream/goal? Stability
10. What room you are in? Living Room
11. Your hobby? Music
12. Your fear? Failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Successful
14. Where were you last night? Home
16. Muffins? Cookies!
17. Wish list item? Cash
18. Where you grew up? Brydges
19. Last thing you did? Television
20. What are you wearing? PJ's
21. Your TV? Computer
22. Your pets? Rodents
23. Friends? Amazing
24. Your life? Stuck
25. Your mood? Down
26. Missing some one? No
27. Car? Nonexistent
28. Something you're not wearing? Bra
29. Your favorite store? Sephora
30. Your favorite color? Blue
33. When is the last time you laughed? Today
34. Last time you cried? Recently
35. Who will resend this? Diana?
36. One place that I go to over and over? School
37. One person who emails me regularly? Adam
38. My favorite place to eat? Chinese
39. Why you participated in this survey? Bored
40. What are you doing tonight? Partying!

Still Nothing Blog Worthy...

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:14:32 GMT

1. It's January; It's cold, It's snowy, but at least it's OSAP Season!

2. 3 Cheese Ravioli is what I crave most right now.

3. Cork and wine go together like a hat on a head...it's an unsophisticated comparison, but I don't actually drink wine.

4. Sleeping in is so nourishing.

5. Let us dare to love eachother in our words, even when the other is not around.

6. I love, but need to clean my home.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my Dad's cooking, tomorrow my plans include Mahjong with Kate, Aaron and Tim
and Sunday, I want to go to Vox Humana Rehersal!

I give up...

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 05:08:15 GMT

There is offically nothing blog-worthy in my life. I'm addicted to memes.
Help?

In the mean time....

1. Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you dislike/don't get along with?
On my own. I might go crazy, but during the time I am sane I will enjoy my own company far more than anyone I dislike

2. Would you rather accidentally walk in on your parents having sex or have them walk in on you?
Either one of these would be awkward, considering my parents are divorced...

3. Would you rather be snapped by paparazzi during a nipple slip or while exiting a car with out any underwear?
Nipple slip for sure. Men have those too. Vaginas...not so much.

4. Would you rather not have sex for two years or not be able to use the Internet for two years?
I'm going to go with no sex. I haven't it thus far, so I'm sure I'd manage.

5. Would you rather find true love or 1 million dollars?
Love, of course. Although my bank account begs to differ.

Bonus (as in optional): If you had to choose *one* sexual position for the rest of your life, what would it be? Why?
I'm not really qualified to answer this one I don't think...

While I should be studying...

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:43:17 GMT

The post from the last meme is upcoming. In the mean time feel free to

1.Friends are the most valuable thing in life. They're family we choose for ourselves.

2. About my health; it's not as good as it oughta be. CP, PMDD, and -most annoying of the bunch - an infected finger. Owie.

3. I'm ready for my exams to be flippin' OVER.

4. Bulgari Black is one of my favorite perfumes or aftershaves or smells. Thanks Adam :).

5. The oldest ornament I have is my baby ornament from 1987.

6. Take some pepper, shake and bake, rosemary and garlic powder, mix it all together and you have that awesome chicken Aaron and I ate last night.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting this exam over with! Tomorrow my plans include going to the Frog with Aaron and Meghan and Sunday, I want to relax with a good book! .

In other news:

I think I might start trying to post here about things that actually matter. I promised long ago that this wouldn't be a journal about memes, but low and behold...

Now, to find a topic I actually care enough about to post about....hm....

Meme

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:52:32 GMT

(taken from kopah )

Everyone has things they post about and everyone has things they don't. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I rarely or never post about but that you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything (within reason): latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on yaoi, favorite type of underwear, graphic techniques, etc. Repost in your own journal if you are so inclined.

Amen Sister!

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:10:00 GMT

Read this...

That is all

Just wondering....

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:04:19 GMT

If any other girls feel the need to gush and squeal about it when good things happen to them.

I'm really bad for that lately.

My Harry Potter Man - Entry Idea borrowed from Sarah

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:59:25 GMT

My Harry Potter Husband
Your result for The Harry Potter Husband Test...

Mrs. Weasley Twin

Your perfect HP man is Fred and/or George Weasley.

Laughter is important to you. You want a guy who's never boring, who can always put a smile on your face, and who can pull the best of pranks and never get caught. Or possibly two such guys. Because let's face it, they're pretty much a two-fer. You get one, you get both. Even if one of them's only a friend, he'll still be around so much you'll feel like you're married to him, too. Sure, they may not seem like the most mature guys in the world, in a traditional sense, but just ask them about their business plan. When they drive you nuts by relentlessly testing their latest inventions on you, you can console youself with that huge stack of cash and dragon-leather jacket. Besides, you know you're powerless against those stereo smiles.

Hurray! I got my favorite character! Unfortunately, this is going to be a tough choice. That or really, really kinky...

My New Favorite Thing: Meemix

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 16:35:49 GMT

Meemix is an awesome internet radio site that I have fallen in love with this week.

Basically, the way it works is this: You input either a favorite song or a favorite artist. Meemix then creates a playlist based around that song or artist. For example, I currently have a playlist titled "Coldplay". While this station does occasionally play Coldplay songs it also plays songs by other artists Meemix things I will like, things that sound a little like Coldplay. Some of these artists are well know, and some I have never heard before, or are on independent labels. I love the mix of popular stuff and independents because it feels like I'm peeling back a whole other layer of the music scene.

The site also has a series of sliders that you can move back and forth to determine the tempo and mood of the songs Meemix plays for you. You can make your play list slow and melancholy, or fast and upbeat, or anywhere in between. Signing up is free, and when you do it will save all the stations you make, and you can flip back and forth when ever you like.

Meemix also has a social side. People can view your profile and see what you're into. I can't really provide much feedback on this part of Meemix, because I use it solely to listen to tunes.

This site is an great tool for those who are bored with our Ipod playlists. Meemix takes your mood and favorite music into account and creates a custom playlist with no effort on your part. Go check it out!

internet radio that gets you

I'm a little confused about this whole US Election thing...

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 22:48:15 GMT

Let me see if I have this straight.

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”

If you grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, you’re a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack, you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

If you name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

If you graduate from Harvard law School, you are unstable.

If you attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well-grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black president of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters*, spend 12 years as a constitutional law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services Committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13-million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veterans’ Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather reporter, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest-ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including protecting oneself against predators and the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system, while your unwed teen daughter becomes pregnant, you’re a responsible person.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner-city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent those of America.

If your husband is nicknamed “First Dude,” with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

(Borrowed from: http://www.compu-diva.com)